“Madame Web”

5.4

You can put Sydney Sweeney in glasses all you want movie… I still noticed she was in a schoolgirl outfit… “dorky” did not overpower the hot. Do better. The pigeonholing of what could have been interesting characters as caricatures was insulting.

It’s really as bad as you’ve heard. I was hoping to prove the tide wrong, but I can’t do the mental gymnastics. I could point out 3-4 different exact points where I’ll wager the walk-outs are happening. And half of them aren’t even the plot, they were the nauseating action. There were more jump cuts and camera tricks than Liam Neeson hopping the fence in “Taken 3.” This made Michael Bay’s “Transformers” choreography look artistic in comparison.

“The Room” (yes, that one) has a more coherent plot and better developed characters. Half of this movie is shot with the actors facing away from camera so that they could voiceover to try and patch things together in post.

The soundtrack is pretty sweet. I’ll give it that. And it had promise. There was so much potential to work with… but when you botch the “with great power, comes great responsibility” speech and force the audience to spend most of the runtime trying not to hurl from the cinematography… you’re gonna have a bad time.