Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
6.4
All I wanted to know was where the idea for the floating sky jellyfish in zombies mode in the new “Call of Duty” came from… Apparently, that was too much to ask. Come along with me down the rabbit hole.
Buckle up for a wild ride. Rogue pituitary glands, killer ghost seas creatures, and the most moist finale this side of the horror classic “Society.” If the multiple uses of moist make you uncomfortable, that gives you a taste for what your in for for the entire runtime. Wowza.
6.8
Uh… ok.
Well, that was a wild ride. Pretty sure this is the definition of the treatment being worse than the disease. Oof… I did not see this one coming. Get ready to wince in pain quite a few times, with plenty of WTF moments mixed in. Grab your voodoo doll, and strap in for a wild ride in the bayou.
8.7
WAY better than I expected! And I set a high bar for this simply based on the trailer and my respect for the director’s previous work on the “Happy Death Day” films.
A hilarious premise executed to perfection by all involved. One of Vince Vaughn’s best performances, hands down. Completely inappropriate at all the right times in just the right ways. *chef’s kiss.*
Gorgeously gruesome kills and a razor-sharp script make for a devilishly good time at the movies. Very well done. Highly recommend.
6.7
When it’s a foggy morning and I say to myself “this is the beginning of a horror movie, for sure,” this is the movie I’ve been unknowingly referencing.
A cross between the Gorton’s fisherman and Boris Karloff’s mummy, there’s something in the fog. It’s a wonder people still travel to new England seaside towns after this and JAWS. The fog took on a very similar sense of menace as the infamous shark, terrorizing the residents.
The character development was odd but worked well enough considering the genre. It appears that picking up hitchhikers led to long-term romantic relationships back in the day.
Moral of the story: beware of local politics. Whether it’s a killer clown, killer shark, or a colonial sea captain, your ancestors screwed over… No good can come of it.
6.1
With the benefit of hindsight, this makes sense and is an exciting entry in the saga. At the time, I’m sure I would have been right there with my pitchfork and torch, ready to burn the theater down saying, “what the hell what was that?”
This is a slasher film. Don’t overthink it. No need for Druids and Stonehenge and curses. Just Michael Myers, his knife, and some unsuspecting teenagers.
It’s one of those historical films you have to watch once, but will probably never revisit.
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 