Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
7.2
This will now be what I imagine when my girlfriend says she wants to get closer…
Body horror at its finest with the weirdest, yet perfect Hollywood couple who are the only two I can think of who could pull of this insanity. If you have a weak stomach, bring a barf bag. This one doesn’t hold back. The most moist thing I’ve seen since “The Substance.” Don’t say I didn’t warn you… it gets WEIRD.
8.2
Was it great? Of course. Was I also happy that this is the end? Also yes. A cinematic victory lap emptying out all the greatest hits, as Ed and Lorraine saddle up for one last ride. There’s a lot to like here, a lot of good scares, and a great deal of ridiculousness that gives this cinematic universe its charm. A fitting, albeit long in the tooth finale to the series.
6.9
Was “Winnie the Pooh: Blood & Honey” too high brow for you? Well, have I got the movie for YOU!
The rat is genuinely terrifying for a number of reasons… the story has the narrative weight of “Sharknado”… and the thing devolves into madness from the get-go. If you don’t mind losing a few brain cells and/or want to root for the downfall of Disney intellectual property now entering the public domain – this is your cinematic universe.
6.7
So, Limp Bizkit’s here for some reason… and I didn’t hate it.
Pure nostalgia trying to cover for a weird mix of “21 and Over” / “Project X” meets “Small Soldiers.” It’s a wild combination, but works remarkably well, mostly because of the dedication of the cast to committing to the bit.
6.9
Not much I can say about this one past what the trailer portrays… It’s weird, and you’ll be shaking your head most of the movie…
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 