Category: Horror/Thriller

“Cocaine Bear”


Perfectly ridiculous. An entry into my favorite re-emerging genres of utterly insane films that cause you to question “how in the hell did someone green light this?!” As you know, one of my all-time favorite films is “Hot Tub Time Machine.”

A film that knows its audience and plays to them for a tight hour and a half runtime. “Going to hell for laughing at this” humor at its finest, with a BANGING soundtrack!

RIP Ray Liotta. RIP to the real cocaine bear, who now resides in a Kentucky shopping mall.

“Winnie the Pooh: Blood & Honey”


Absolutely bonkers.

The forced creativity resulting from the reportedly less than $100,000 budget really led to an inventive film overall, even if it’s uncomfortable and increasingly strange at every turn.

It’s “The Strangers,” meets “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” dressed in Spirit Halloween. The most fun I’ve had in a packed theater since “Terrifier 2,” but this film keeps the runtime in check at a tight hour and a half. Here’s to hoping there’s more demented public domain character horror films in store for us in the years to come! This was hilariously, horrifically amazing.

“Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge”


Opera too high brow? Well, have I got the phantom movie for you! White masked recluse and all!

This movie was hilariously bad, even by slasher standards, but I did find myself eventually surrendering to the absurdity to enjoy some laughter at the ridiculousness killing my brain cells with each unlikely onscreen murder.

Side Note: “Phantom of the Opera” is my favorite Broadway musical, so this one was subject to a strict lens and high bar.

“Infinity Pool”


You’ll be questioning reality as the lines between fact and fiction blur… like the edges of an infinity pool. See what I did there?

If you can make it past the strobe light orgy scenes and make it to the most uncomfortable bus commandeering scene… congratulations! You’ll leave the theater befuddled and slightly pissed off at the abrupt ending. This film leaves you feeling like your all-inclusive vacation was filled with nothing but Montezuma’s revenge and rain, only to have someone kick you in the nuts at the airport just as you’re about to board the flight home to safety.

Mia Goth absolutely kills it, but I do sometimes worry about her being pigeon-holed as “unhinged female lead who creeps everyone out” moving forward. From “X” to “Pearl,” and now this… it’s a danger. But in the meantime, she’s got a knack for it.

I think there’s a social commentary about tourism to poverty-stricken nations and abuse of locals, but again, it’s hard to get past the strobe light orgies to get that deep into the story.

“Death Spa”


So… it’s kind of a rip-off of “Halloween 2”… but with more aerobics influence and a slightly more “pop” soundtrack. The kills are ridiculous, and a questionable amount of the runtime takes place inside solely the women’s locker room/shower… but that’s to be expected in an 80’s slasher. Ghost woman was an… interesting angle.