Category: Horror/Thriller

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

6.5

Was this a confusing take on the franchise? Yes.

Was this the best “Texas Chainsaw” film? No.

Was this the worst “Texas Chainsaw” film? Also no.

As the credits roll, you realize that Netflix may have been out past its skis on this one. This one is towards the bottom in a sea of phenomenal horror reboots. And Netflix can handle making great horror films and series. That part puzzled me quite a bit. If you’re here for the story or to see the franchise branch out and bloom, you’re going to be disappointed. However, if you want to see Leatherface mow down a sea of hipsters threatening him with being canceled as they record their untimely demise on their smartphones, then this is the movie for you. By far some of the most violent and creative kills in the entire series. Following in the footsteps of the other recent horror reboots, this movie gets very creative in the death department.

If you can make it past the first 20-25 minutes of one of the more clunky liftoffs I’ve seen on the screen in a LONG time… You won’t hate it.

“Blood Fest”

6.9

This would have been a great one to see at the drive-in. B-Horror movie perfection.

Regardless of whether or not you connect with the numerous nods to the classics in this one, even the casual viewer will find enjoyment in this tight hour and a half run time. It’s just meta enough to pique one’s interest and sufficiently serious without taking itself too seriously. It threads the needle perfectly to leave you thoroughly entertained. It’s definitely one of my better finds in the depths of Amazon Prime lately. I’d put it alongside “Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse,” genre-wise. Definitely out there but pulls it off nicely.

“Scream” (2022)

8.4

*Chef’s Kiss*

This film is a masterclass in self-aware, fourth-wall-breaking horror-comedy filmmaking.

New technology and horror tropes to play with. Incredibly well directed suspenseful violence. The perfect balance of nostalgia and newfound room to grow into a second renaissance. Wes Craven would be proud.

A fantastically fun two hours in the theater. I highly recommend it.

“I Spit on Your Grave” (1978)

7.4

You know the violence and gruesome revenge that “Promising Young Woman” was missing? I found it, and then some. In the vein of the hyperviolence of 1970s slashers like “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” this film gets… uncomfortable at times with how far it’s willing to push the envelope. If you have a weak stomach, this is definitely one to avoid. Also, a trigger warning to those sensitive to violent sexual encounters. As mentioned before, like in “Promising Young Woman,” our main character Jennifer has all the justification in the world to leave these men mangled by the time the credits roll.

“Slumber Party Massacre” (2021)

7.5

My favorite and least favorite part is how meta this hour and a half sometimes became.

This remake is everything I wanted in the remake of the phallic weapon-wielding psycho killer of the 80s favorite target of cinematic slayers – teenage girls at a slumber party.

There are just enough tongue-in-cheek references to the original 2, including the ridiculous guitar from the sequel and the feather-filled half-naked pillow fight (the gents this time). A nice balance of self-awareness and horror movie blissful ignorance in our main cast. This was one of the more lightweight and fun remakes of the year. I went in expecting ridiculousness and a few chuckles, and this delivered that and more! I feel this achieved what one of my most loathed horror remakes, “Black Christmas”(2019), was attempting to. This pointed out the stereotypes of the original, played into the “there’s a reason these don’t age well culturally,” but didn’t turn into a preachy nag fest that forgot it’s a slasher film and is also supposed to entertain the audience while enlightening them in the process. Chef’s kiss. Solid work, *checks notes* SyFy network…