Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
4.5
On par with “The Room” in the quality department. So bad it’s kind of entertaining film making. Shout-out to Shudder and “The Last Drive-In” for digging this gem out of the depths of the archives. (They had to actually find an editor to finish the film because they never finished it back in the day.) The movie about killer wild hogs that no one ever asked for, during the killer swine craze of never. A Shudder classic.
9.9
All time favorite. As close to a perfect movie as they get in my career as a cinephile.
All time great score, all time perfect cast. Paradigm shifting cinematic craft exhibited by all involved converged by happy accident to create one of the most storied summer blockbusters of all time. What should have been a cheesy, forgettable tale of a goofy mechanical shark turned out to be a juggernaut that would launch many legendary careers and inspire generations to come.
With just two notes and a shark that couldn’t swim… history was made.
6.1
Jamie Lee Curtis fights of a serial killer in a mask. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? *cough* Halloween *cough* Lori Strode has to again save a bunch of clueless teenagers from a killer on the loose on the night of a community wide holiday/event.
Heavy on the disco. Pretty typical Shudder slasher flick. Cheesy, lots of blood and screams.
7.1
So if Lyn Shae (the old lady from “Insidious”) is in your movie, you know it’s gonna be a weird time. Still trying to figure this one out. Part cabin fever, part possession movie, part Freddy Krueger? Kid’s creepy as hell, and I would have acted on the weirdness far before anyone in this film sounds the alarm. Again, the imaginary friend turns out to be a bad omen. Shocker. The father’s acting is laughable. Everyone else is good. Thought to be fairly predictable until things get straight up bananas in the finale. The things you find in quarantine on iTunes…
Me, watching this movie:
6.5
Well… that was… strange. Definitely one of the more oddball films I’ve seen in my quarantine run thus far.
Major style points, as the setting of the film and the nostalgia of being able to be in a movie theater definitely won me over. The nude ghost/demon woman who is summoned like the girl from “the ring,” whose method of killing was… definitely unexpected. Very strange film overall. Still not quite sure what to make of it. Highly original, though. That much was a breathe of fresh air.
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 