Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
7.9
Wes Craven at the height of his powers.
Turns out “Scary Movie” is just a rip-off of the master himself. Such a perfectly constructed story, including fourth wall breaks in all the right places. I have laughed this hard at a horror film in quite a while. It was also genuinely scary when it needed to be, pointing to the craftsmanship of the filmmaker. Very well done.
7.5
Not at all what I expected, both in a good way and bad. I didn’t see the over two-hour run time coming. I honestly thought during the introduction that I had wandered into the wrong theater showing a completely different movie.
Once things get rolling, expect something between “Paranormal Activity” and “Midsommar.”
What is advertised as your run of the mill horror-thriller that fills the month of October every year wanders into thinkpiece territory. It ends either on a brilliant note or with its head securely up its ass, depending on how you follow the first 95% of the film. Part of me feels like they never fully decided which direction they wanted to develop, thus ending up with pieces of 2-3 good movies cobbled together as one.
7.8
One of the most significant heavyweight bouts of all time! Such a cinematic treat to see these two legends sharing the big screen, shedding blood, and racking up a body count. I can’t imagine how insane this sounded when it came out. Arguably, one of the most substantial entries in both anthologies. Just in time for spooky season. Turn your brain off, and watch let the madness begin!
A well-balanced narrative, pinning the strengths of each against each other. Brain and brawn. Mano a mano. Take a trip down Elm Street, all the way to Camp Crystal Lake. A great time is to be had by all. You won’t want to sleep through this one—especially the end.
7.1
Solid.
I went in with a pretty low bar, but this film hurdles it with ease—surprisingly great performances across the board. An insane ending I did not see coming. Good scares, strong special effects. A welcomed addition to Shudders 61 das of Halloween. It’s hard to score originality points with an exorcism movie, but they manage to reel me in with a few moments in this one. Overall, they follow the tried and true “amateur exorcist gets in over their head” formula, with a few new twists that add some excellent curveball factor.
6.8
This movie is the discomfort of hearing the word “moist” put to film. It also happens to be very moist in the third act. A literal butt head. The strangest finishing move in a fight I’ve seen in a long time. Prepare to be both amused and bemused by this cult classic that could almost serve as a “Purge” prequel. Bet Bill’s ready to go back to Baywatch after this weird weekend.
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 