Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
8.1
A parody of a biopic to a parody singer… Only Weird Al could pull this off. And they NAIL IT!
So cheesy, so eccentric, so perfect for the occasion. And Daniel Radcliffe was oddly made for the part of the protagonist. Surrounded by more cameos than I could keep track of in an hour and a half runtime… this one blew my expectations out of the water! (As long as you’re a Weird Al fan and are in for this type of a ride)
7.6
A Randy Marsh subplot? Count me in!
Definitely not suitable for children, with so little “safe for work” content that it couldn’t have a full-length trailer… but dead on in its satire, as always. From the energy drink craze to OnlyFans to their collision in a collusion between the deep state and societal puppet masters vying for control of our minds… It’s exactly what you want out of a South Park special event.
6.5
The full introduction to Art the clown. One of the most unsettling horror characters in recent memory. Similar to Bill Skarsgard, I don’t know how David Howard Thornton can pull off some of the acting he does in this movie, especially facial expressions. It’s art in motion.
Definitely nothing high budget here, but some fantastic practical effects that Hollywood has unfortunately shied away from in recent years. A good old fashioned slasher movie. People die, and there’s blood. Lots of blood.
5.9
I spent most of the runtime uttering one of two phrases: “That’s not how that works” or “she didn’t have to be naked for that.”
Enjoy this wannabe “Halloween 2” that unfortunately ends up being fairly forgettable, despite the valiant efforts of Barbi Benton.
7.7
To quote my man Owen Wilson, “Wow.”
This was much better than expected! A cinematic flashback to a time when quality rom-coms were regularly showing in theaters and not relegated to my Netflix watchlist. Not that Netflix hasn’t carried the torch admirably, but I miss these being on the big screen this time of year to inspire us all to be a little more open and vulnerable with each other. To take a wild leap of faith. They’re adult fairytales that inspire us to get a little out past our skis every once in a while. Sometimes those wild shots in the dark lead to beautifully fulfilling destinations.
A reasonably unlikely pair, but a potent reminder of the charm of Owen Wilson and the humanity of J-Lo. Well done by all involved!
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 