Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
6.4
This one is just as clunky as the trailer… like “what the hell just happened?! How did we get here?!” kind of narrative whiplash. Technical aspects aside, the chemistry between the leads is there in droves… it’s just that they’re abandoned on this island with nothing to help them out. There are certainly moments of brilliance here, they just didn’t string any of them together.
7.6
A much better than expected thriller. Tight runtime, tight story… kept me engaged from beginning to end! Do they all start to rhyme with “Die Hard” after a while? Sure! The main thing is that the movie is entertaining, and this one delivers. Taron Egerton is a bit clunky as the lead at times, but Jason Bateman more than makes up for it, playing a bad guy no less! Well worth checking out.
4.2
Save yourself two hours of your life…
It’s aggressively insulting to the intelligence of the audience as it tries to be 6 things at once. It’s “Pride & Prejudice,” as the daughters fight for the right to be married off? Is it a ripoff of “Duel,” the amazing vehicular thriller by Steven Spielberg? Is it a slasher, akin to “Saw” or “Texas Chainsaw Massacre?” The answer is – it tries to be all of these things, and thus fails at all of them. What could have been an amazing premise is pissed away on cheap jump scares, laughable hijinks, and dialogue that sounds like ChatGPT had a stroke.
Instead – enjoy this 38 Special tune (or really any of their catalogue)… they’re mentioned in the movie, and I would have rather watched two hours of their music videos.
7.7
I’m a sucker for coming of age stories… especially ones that take place over the summer. Therefore, I was all-in on this one from the get-go.
THEN, it decides to go on and be an amazing tale of faith, connection, humanity, imperfection, humor, love, and loss… all in an hour and a half!
There’s such a strong, genuine heart to this film that gave it an unmistakable warmth and made everything incredibly approachable. It didn’t fall into the trap of being preachy, which is always my worry… a bravo and well done on this one, which I highly recommend!
6.9
So… this thing turns into a comedy in the second half. I did NOT see that coming!
There are many lessons here… don’t marry an exotic dancer? Don’t marry an heir to a Russian mob fortune who didn’t get permission to get married? Don’t untie your hostage early? Make sure the mom likes you?
Whatever the takeaway, the fun remains. This was an incredibly unexpectedly funny one that left me befuddled from beginning to end, in a good way. Well worth a watch, for the plot.
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 