Category: Apple Tv+

Action Apple Tv+ Blockbuster

“Napoleon”

By Brett_G on

5.1

Let me save you three hours of your life you can never get back. It’s… it’s bad.

For that runtime, it felt rushed, confusing, and in the end, lackluster. The battle scenes had hints of greatness, but were plagued with CGI that makes Marvel look masterful. And sex scenes that make “The Room” look romantic.

With the subtlety of a sledgehammer, let Ridley Scott drag you through a script of Napoleon’s life that feels like someone read the Amazon synopsis of a memoir, drag 6 Red Bulls, did a line of cocaine, and wrote in crayon before lighting the script on fire and just telling Joaquin Phoenix to “do Joker stuff” while dressed in a French military outfit.

Did that last paragraph not make sense? Well, you now know the feeling of leaving the theater after this one, but I saved you approximately 2 hours and 57 minutes of your life. You’re welcome.

P.S. The British had BOATS! So not fair!

P.P.S. The first word in the below trailer is “Long.” That sums it up pretty well. Freudian slip by the marketing department at Apple Studios.

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Apple Tv+ Blockbuster Documentary Drama

“Killers of the Flower Moon”

By Brett_G on

8.4

I still prefer the book on this one, but the movie gave it a run for its money and was a work of art itself presenting this important story.

While Leo puts on another great performance (and chalks up another epic meltdown scene) alongside the truly menacing Robert De Niro, I want to call attention to Lily Gladstone as Molly Burkhart and Tatanka Means as Agent John Wren. My biggest reason for preferring the book to the movie is due to the perspective of the story being told. The book’s focus on the FBI team and the community impacted was a much more impactful viewpoint, but narratively, I understand why Scorsese went this route. The ending was a creative Hail Mary pass to tie a bow on such an unsatisfying ending to the story. There was no good way to land the plane on a story with such a lack of closure/happy ending. The thing that the film nails is the tone. You’re uncomfortable for the entire runtime, waiting for the other shoe to drop, unsure of who you can trust, sensing the pervasive danger around every corner.

It’s absolutely gorgeous in its cinematography and the overall aesthetic of the film. The editing made the three and a half runtime pass more quickly than I was expecting, but it definitely tested my back’s tolerance for a single sitting in non-recliner cinema seats. It’s definitely on of those “Hollywood couldn’t write something this insane and interesting” stories, finally making its way onto the big screen, with a perfect cast and soundtrack.

Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI https://a.co/d/aSIbW1M

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Apple Tv+ Documentary Drama

“WeCrashed”

By Brett_G on

7.5

… still a more believable accent than his Mario Bros. Impression that was Paola Gucci in “House of Gucci.” And Anne Hathaway grounds the madman in a realism that almost makes him likable. Makes his moves understandable until they cross over into unthinkably incoherent.

This is one of those “Hollywood can’t write a story this wild” situations where they try to pigeonhole the story to fit into a series narrative, and almost stick the landing. The soundtrack is a banger, nonetheless. Another AppleTV+ winner.

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Apple Tv+ Documentary Drama

“Five Days at Memorial”

By Brett_G on

8.3

… because any longer, and there’d be no one left with the stomach to survive watching this heart-wrenching tale.

Based on the events at Memorial Hospital in New Orleans during and immediately following Hurricane Katrina, follow along on one of the move visceral deep dives into clinical ethics I can think of ever seeing put to film. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

Perfectly cast, each character brings their all, but also doesn’t overshadow anyone else. There’s a nice balance to everything as we all dive into the darkness together. Unfathomable decisions stemming from an unthinkable scenario playing out. Unprecedented times leading to unprecedented decisions and actions. The best and worst of humanity on full display.

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