Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
7.6
So, uh… this is what happens when the sex robots become sentient and revolt. We’ve been due this film in the new age A.I. sci-fi genre… and this didn’t disappoint! A funny, insightful, dread-inducing thrill ride that’s “Promising Young Woman” meets “The Terminator.” A bloody good time at the theater! I can’t give Sophie Thatcher enough credit in this role, as she takes over and doesn’t relinquish her on-screen domination until the credits are done rolling! Bravo!
4.2
Save yourself two hours of your life…
It’s aggressively insulting to the intelligence of the audience as it tries to be 6 things at once. It’s “Pride & Prejudice,” as the daughters fight for the right to be married off? Is it a ripoff of “Duel,” the amazing vehicular thriller by Steven Spielberg? Is it a slasher, akin to “Saw” or “Texas Chainsaw Massacre?” The answer is – it tries to be all of these things, and thus fails at all of them. What could have been an amazing premise is pissed away on cheap jump scares, laughable hijinks, and dialogue that sounds like ChatGPT had a stroke.
Instead – enjoy this 38 Special tune (or really any of their catalogue)… they’re mentioned in the movie, and I would have rather watched two hours of their music videos.
7.9
Part of my initial beef with this movie was the number of times I had to watch the same trailer for it at my local AMC. I had to work not to hold that against it.
Working past that, I really enjoyed this one! It adequately expanded on the lore without losing the magic that made the original standout in a year of great horror flicks. Great jump scares, some legitimately terrifying twisting of reality (what’s real and what’s not), and a fair amount more gore than expected (the “Terrifier” effect on modern horror). Naomi Scott really makes the movie with her strong performance in the lead position. Without her, I’m not sure this one works and am not sure we would get the impending third installment. She really kills it (no pun intended) from beginning to end here.
Studio horror continuing its comeback, and I’m here for it!
7.7
Let’s get this out of the way right off the bat – Art killing children is only one of the absolutely abhorrent things that happens on screen during this one. Author Jason Pargin put it perfectly on Tik Tok recently – we go see these movies because we wish that evil was as simple to spot as Art the Clown. There’s definitely something deeper going on with this series, as it begins to not only out-gross large studio blockbusters (I’m looking at you “Joker”) but influence recent studio horror films (Smile 2’s level of gore was at an 11 all of the sudden).
Coming back to the feature, Art the clown has fun brutally murdering and dismembering everyone within any given frame for over two hours. The creativity of kills here is starting to give the “Saw” series a run for its money. Our new final girl Sienna comes into her own against the axe wielding jester, and the series itself finds its sea legs. Krampus is no longer the only horror icon here to ruin your holiday season by going after kids.
Technically speaking, you’re going to be hard pressed to find a better modern slasher. If you can stomach the blood and gore (which even I was surprised by), you’re in for a wild ride. I definitely understand if it’s not your bag, though. This is a love it or hate it type film to its core.
5.1
Nah… they really should have. I’m with Rose in “Titanic” on this one.
In trying to be “Evil Dead” or “A Quiet Place,” this one failed to really be anything. Mom’s crazy – the attempted shoehorning in of a possible demon falls flat on its face amongst more biblical references than you can shake a crucifix at. And did we really have to get THAT close to watching her kill the dog with a crossbow?!?
It’s an hour and forty minutes that feels like three hours of your life that you’ll never get back.
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 