Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
7.4
Did you enjoy the “Final Destination” series? Then you’ll like this one.
A welcomed twist on the “teens getting picked off after opening a door to the other side” genre, with solid characters, well crafted jump scares and tension filled kill sequences. A really well done spooky flick that hopefully doesn’t succumb to being just a warm up for the heavy hitters later this year. When it comes to originality like this, the more the merrier!
7.2
If Matt Bettinelli-Olpin is your director, your final girl will end up victorious, covered in blood, asking “what the fuck just happened?” Alongside the audience. Holy crap was that a wild ride, in the best way!
Much like 2019’s “Ready or Not,” I was not fully ready for this one. The story has so many twists and turns, you’re on the edge of your seat from beginning to end. More humor than expected, and as a fellow movie aficionado commented, much better developed characters than your typical studio horror film. We agreed on another, recovering our friendship after some disagreement over “Imaginary” earlier this year.
Alisha Weir and Kathryn Newton steal the show! Finally pulling me out of the rough run of mediocrity I’ve gotten stuck in the past couple of weeks with new releases.
7.2
If Ralph Ineson comes into frame, you know shit’s about to go down. Ever since “The Witch,” trouble isn’t too far away when he’s in the frame. With that warning out of the way, Nell Tiger Free absolutely kills it as the main character. I found many parallels to “Immaculate,” but with the more established lore of the “Omen” franchise. Nuns, nuns on fire, the anti-Christ… ya know, just a typical Tuesday Girl’s Night. Through fire and flame, venture with our mistress of misfortune and uncover the secrets of the Vatican… well, the parallel Vatican whose trying to run an overly-complicated marketing campaign for the Catholic faith. Very strange, but well done studio horror flick!
6.9
Definitely not winning any Oscars, but winning the hearts of sold out theaters on opening night for the run of the entire Poohniverse (I kid you not, that’s the name). Can’t wait for the next 10 of these!
With more budget comes more carnage, and I am here for it! Why everyone in that rave was topless is beyond me, but watching Pooh and Tigger go full Freddy Krueger pool scene from “Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge” was a cinematic work of art. May Pooh Bear and Art the Clown from “Terrifer” carry us into a new golden age of slashers!
8.2
I didn’t have Bohemian Grove connected death cult on my bingo card for 2024, but here we are.
David Dastmalchian and Ingrid Torelli steal the show, but that’s not to take away from anyone in this one. Everyone plays their parts to perfection, as we’re transported back to the days of the original late night wars and their attempts to distract us from a world seemingly coming apart at the seams. Behind a thin veil is a grappling with the price of fame and the lengths one will go to to achieve it. Front and center is one of the better demonic possession found footage films on the silver screen in quite some time. What I was most taken by was the world building done in such a short time. I’m not typically a fan of an exposition dump monologue to start a film, but found this one perfectly teed up what was to come. They use the late night talk show structure to build momentum towards a finale that gives the V/H/S series a run for its money. As you know, I judge a horror movie by its finale, and this one swung for the fences and connected with a fast ball right down the middle to destroy a windshield in deep left field. There wasn’t a wasted frame in the entire runtime, leaving everyone in the theater in disbelief of where they went with this one.
So lace up your robe, sharpen your ancient dagger, and get ready for a wild ride!
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 