Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
6.9
Get ready to get uncomfortable. And be uncomfortable until the credits roll. A film that beautifully encapsulates the pain of family/church functions. Especially when your booty calls all show up to the same party. Awkward…
Sharp script, witty dialogue, well-framed shots. It plays like a play. Just the right amount of claustrophobia to keep you on the edge of your seat and waiting to see what the next twist will be.
6.8
In the most sarcastic tone I can muster, “I did NOT see that coming!”
As the movie shares in its conclusion, quoting Matthew 7:15, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”
Simple mix-up. No way the Vatican could have known that there could be someone else named Mary… perhaps a witch who was hung, burned, her soul trapped in a doll for eternity.
For as silly as the story was on paper, it’s executed well by the cast. Some genuine moments of terrorizing tension, jump scares that made me jump, and a real emotional connection to the core cast in their struggle with the dark side. Cary Elwes is coming into his own as a bad guy since “Saw.” Cricket Brown shines as Alice, the second hearing impaired main character who is essential to the story and becomes the story’s emotional core with the fewest words almost effortlessly that I’ve seen this week. (The other being Kaylee Hottle as Gia in “Kong vs. Godzilla”)
Not amazing, not terrible. Solid horror flick that was clearly released on Good Friday for a reason.
7.2
Can we please stop making time travel movies? Please. It’s becoming too much of a good thing.
This movie in particular didn’t even really need it. The chemistry was wonderfully done, the story was sharp and had a nice depth to it. I just… the time travel crap took me out of it until the third act twist brought me back in and rescued this from sinking into the 6’s. The ending was amazing and tied up the loose ends, contextualizing everything that had been driving me insane for the first 2/3 of the movie. The beginning feels a bit like a dream, as you’re dropped into an already moving narrative, which you then go “awe,” then “what is going on,” then “no freaking way! That’s what was going on!” then back to “awe.” Seemed like a Netflix flick on the big screen. A throwback to the olden days of having to see this genre in a theater. (One of those buildings with the big screens and popcorn)
8.1
Get ready to get uncomfortable… like, extremely uncomfortable. But a productive, evolutionary uncomfortable, if that makes sense. In between discomfort, you’ll unexpectedly laugh and cheer.
Technically speaking, it felt a bit clunky at times and seemed to rush the ending. That said, it lives up to the hype of the trailer and will leave you feeling fired up in all the right ways. Inspirational art. Definitely not a light-hearted popcorn flick.
4.5
So… it’s pretty much all in the title on this one. Navigating a drought in new releases in theaters, I found this one in the indie film section in iTunes. As someone who has watched and loved Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room,” I’m here to tell you that this acting is just as bad, if not worse. Basically, everyone cheats on everyone, it’s all English dubbed like an old Godzilla movie. All around strange. Save yourself the hour and a half.
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 