Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
7.4
I may have over-hyped this one in my head a bit. It even got me to subscribe to Netflix for a month to watch it. (It’s one of the few streaming services I don’t have unless they suck me in with a release like this that I would have had to travel to CHICAGO to see)
It’s absolutely gorgeous, and Michael Fassbender is perfect in this role. But the the film itself was… surprisingly okay for me. It was solid, but not life-changing as some (including myself) had been expecting.
5.1
Let me save you three hours of your life you can never get back. It’s… it’s bad.
For that runtime, it felt rushed, confusing, and in the end, lackluster. The battle scenes had hints of greatness, but were plagued with CGI that makes Marvel look masterful. And sex scenes that make “The Room” look romantic.
With the subtlety of a sledgehammer, let Ridley Scott drag you through a script of Napoleon’s life that feels like someone read the Amazon synopsis of a memoir, drag 6 Red Bulls, did a line of cocaine, and wrote in crayon before lighting the script on fire and just telling Joaquin Phoenix to “do Joker stuff” while dressed in a French military outfit.
Did that last paragraph not make sense? Well, you now know the feeling of leaving the theater after this one, but I saved you approximately 2 hours and 57 minutes of your life. You’re welcome.
P.S. The British had BOATS! So not fair!
P.P.S. The first word in the below trailer is “Long.” That sums it up pretty well. Freudian slip by the marketing department at Apple Studios.
7.1
I actually enjoyed this one! For all of the hate it got, this is one of the few in Phase 4 (this and “Guardians 3”) that didn’t earn the disdain. It was a return to form for Marvel, even if that made it feel a bit tired and played.
They finally solve for Captain Marvel’s Superman Syndrome, and she comes across quite likeable in this go-round. As do Carol and Kamala. The three amigas team up in a tight, fun hour and a half action film.
Story-wise, you can tell they jump cut some of the story development for the sake of a reasonable runtime, and sometimes it seemed a bit jarring as a viewer, but the CGI looked good for the first time in ages and I felt myself genuinely laughing at some of the gags. I left pleasantly surprised, but still committed to Marvel taking a siesta from the big screen for a while to let it breath a bit.
6.8
I think they were going for “Seven” here… but ended up with a by the numbers cop drama. It never got that deep, despite it’s best efforts.
Ben Mendelsohn and Shailene Woodley carry a lot of water to get this one across the finish line. it has it’s moments where it goes full “shock and awe,” and some potentially intriguing threads, but they fail to fully pull those threads or veer off the beaten path enough to have piqued my interest above general intrigue. It was a solid movie, just not as good as I was hoping it would be.
8.1
He did it again! Denzel and crew stuck the landing and nailed the conclusion of the trilogy. This time with the additional impact of a reunion with Dakota Fanning, a chemistry you can feel permeate the story and provide a strong heart to the story that I was afraid would be missing in this one without the usual supporting cast, following the events of Part 2. They haven’t lost a beat since “Man on Fire.”
You won’t find better choreography and kill count outside of “John Wick,” with only “Nobody” giving them a run for their money.
I found this film to have a return to form and a softer touch than 2. There was no lack of bloodshed, but moments between Fanning and Washington, paired with attention to detail like the score paying homage to Nina Rota’s “Godfather” theme to fit the Italian locale… I appreciated the well rounded nature of this stuck landing. Incredibly well done and well worth a watch!
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 