Category: Netflix

“The Goop Lab”

6.7

Yep, I got this bored. After what seemed like years on my watchlist, it was finally time. At least it explains where the “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle comes from. Goop Lab makes a lot more sense now. So get in touch with yourself, and get ready to cock your head and go “Hmm…” at least twice each episode. Who knew that Tony Stark’s wife had such a side hustle outside of running Stark Industries?

“Love Hard”

7.9

I think the lesson here is that people are shallow? But they also have heart when you emotionally kidnap them and break down their hard outer shell, and can learn their lesson and become fully functional humans after severe personal trauma.

The good old Netflix rom-com. You know you’re in for a solid hour and a half of heart and laughs. Not too deep, not too sweet, not too serious. Just right. In the end, I’m just glad to see that Jian Yang from “Silicon Valley” found love after shutting down his tech talent incubator in California and moving back in with his parents. (Really inside joke, I apologize)

“The Kissing Booth 3”

6.5

*steps onto soapbox*

My contempt for the second installment finally killed it. It completely murdered my love for this adorkable series. So much unnecessary drama, such an unoriginal story, such an out-of-date soundtrack, such poor decision-making on the part of Elle. They seriously try to retcon Noah as not being a complete asshole and worth choosing over Marco?!?! What the hell, Elle? You know what? I’m happy for Marco. He’s finally free of this stupidity. Go live your life, my man. Don’t you dare look back. These 3 (4 if you count Rachel) deserve each other’s misery. My lord… so much cringe. Burn the beach house down and salt the earth on which it stood. Sprinkle it with holy water. Please leave this as a trilogy. Instead of capturing lightning in a bottle, this series is like being struck by lightning three times in the same spot. I had to finish it, but my ride along the sunset coast ended with me pulling a Thelma and Louise into the Pacific to free myself from this crew as the credits began to roll.

“Cooking With Paris”

7.2

I’m still a bigger “Selena + Chef” fan, but this was a close second. All the typical Paris shenanigans, with a carousel of celebrity friends learning to cook. It’s gaudy to the max. If you’re not concerned with actually learning any culinary expertise, this is your show. If you want actual recipes and depth, head over to HBO Max for Selena’s rendition.

“Fear Street Trilogy”

8.2

These types of films are becoming their own genre, and I am here for it. The “Stranger Things”/”Wet Hot American Summer” nostalgia-soaked adventure through well-established genres. In this case, classic horror slashers. From “Friday the 13th” camp, to the Salem witch trials, to the Stephen King “It” style adventure tying it all together.

The script was razor-sharp, the cinematography was gorgeous, and the soundtrack was everything you could ever dream of shoe-horning into this trilogy that serves as a masterclass in constructing a horror saga. There was an almost perfect balance between nostalgia and new-newness struck in these films. Characters you grow to genuinely care about by the time they have their final showdown between good and evil in the neon-soaked mall that serves as the site that ties it all together. Literally, the crossroads of the mall serves as the singular geographical point in all three generations where these stories come together.

I waited until all three were out, so I could binge them back to back. I do, however, appreciate that these streaming services have kept alive these cinematic events that can bring us all together to watch the same thing at the same time and have this kind of shared experience. They also inspired me to go on an 80’s slasher marathon this weekend, which was an added benefit.

Of note, this series was much more violent and gore-filled than I had anticipated. Not for those with weak stomachs or a general aversion to these types of content. And of course, there has to be sex before the teenagers get picked off by a masked killer with a hardware store weapon, witch, or possessed beat friend—highly recommended popcorn flicks.