Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
6.8
If studio notes were a movie… it feels like it was written by an AI told to “make every hip Minecraft reference for ___ minutes.” A sloppier version of “Ready Player One.” I didn’t love it. I didn’t hate it. I was afraid of having popcorn thrown at me during “Chicken Jockey”… It’s colorful.
6.9
A little “American Pie,” a little “Red Rocket”… I didn’t hate it. A few genuine laughs, and a solid runtime. All you can ask out of a movie like this.
6.5
A prime example of why “I think you should leave” is a sketch show. You stretch that out too long, and the cracks begin to show. 20 or so brilliant moments strung together by nonsensical narrative. I really wanted to love this, but ended up cringing by the end. So many genius laughs… just in the wrong format. Tim Robinson is meant to be enjoyed in smaller doses.
6.9
Was “Winnie the Pooh: Blood & Honey” too high brow for you? Well, have I got the movie for YOU!
The rat is genuinely terrifying for a number of reasons… the story has the narrative weight of “Sharknado”… and the thing devolves into madness from the get-go. If you don’t mind losing a few brain cells and/or want to root for the downfall of Disney intellectual property now entering the public domain – this is your cinematic universe.
6.7
So, Limp Bizkit’s here for some reason… and I didn’t hate it.
Pure nostalgia trying to cover for a weird mix of “21 and Over” / “Project X” meets “Small Soldiers.” It’s a wild combination, but works remarkably well, mostly because of the dedication of the cast to committing to the bit.
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 