Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

By Brett_G on February 22, 2022February 20, 2022

6.5

Was this a confusing take on the franchise? Yes.

Was this the best “Texas Chainsaw” film? No.

Was this the worst “Texas Chainsaw” film? Also no.

As the credits roll, you realize that Netflix may have been out past its skis on this one. This one is towards the bottom in a sea of phenomenal horror reboots. And Netflix can handle making great horror films and series. That part puzzled me quite a bit. If you’re here for the story or to see the franchise branch out and bloom, you’re going to be disappointed. However, if you want to see Leatherface mow down a sea of hipsters threatening him with being canceled as they record their untimely demise on their smartphones, then this is the movie for you. By far some of the most violent and creative kills in the entire series. Following in the footsteps of the other recent horror reboots, this movie gets very creative in the death department.

If you can make it past the first 20-25 minutes of one of the more clunky liftoffs I’ve seen on the screen in a LONG time… You won’t hate it.

Blockbuster Comedy

“Jackass Forever”

By Brett_G on February 21, 2022February 21, 2022

7.9

They can truly do this forever. It will live on forever.

Get ready to see a lot of naked men and wince in pain for the entire runtime. An amazing hour and a half in the theater with the guys, enjoying the finest of juvenile humor this side of “Beavis & Butthead.” Turn your brain off and watch the hilarity ensue.

Drama Indie

“Sundown”

By Brett_G on February 21, 2022February 20, 2022

5.4

Well, the trailer had me sold. By the time the credits rolled, I felt like I, too, wanted to fake losing my passport and spend some time with a mistress in an exotic beach town contemplating what it is that I’m doing with my life.

Honestly, the movie’s best scene, coincidentally bringing the most excitement and momentum to the film, was a fellow tourist being gunned down by jet ski hitmen. If that sentence has you confused, welcome to the mindset this one leaves you in. I’ll save you the hour and a half runtime – the best aspect of this movie.

Comedy Indie

“How it Ends”

By Brett_G on February 20, 2022February 20, 2022

5.8

Let the meteor hit me too!

I think they were aiming for the deadpan humor of “Portlandia,” but for me, it was a little too heavy on the dead, with a side of hit me in the head with a pan. A couple of heavy exhale chuckles, but nothing as funny as I was expecting, unfortunately.

Comedy Horror/Thriller

“Blood Fest”

By Brett_G on February 20, 2022February 20, 2022

6.9

This would have been a great one to see at the drive-in. B-Horror movie perfection.

Regardless of whether or not you connect with the numerous nods to the classics in this one, even the casual viewer will find enjoyment in this tight hour and a half run time. It’s just meta enough to pique one’s interest and sufficiently serious without taking itself too seriously. It threads the needle perfectly to leave you thoroughly entertained. It’s definitely one of my better finds in the depths of Amazon Prime lately. I’d put it alongside “Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse,” genre-wise. Definitely out there but pulls it off nicely.