Brett_G

“Cannibal Holocaust”

By Brett_G on October 12, 2020

6.3

Definitely not for the faint of heart. Those 6.3 points are purely for cojones, not necessarily for film quality. This one will also take a bit of digging to find, as it’s been banned a few times in different fashions. The predecessor of today’s “found footage” horror genre, this film follows a film crew to the edge of the civilized world, into the world of indigenous tribes who have never encountered outsiders. Absolute hilarity or horror ensues, depending on your sense of humor. Overall, these people somewhat deserve to die for their character flaws and the terrible things they do as the runtime unfolds. Italian filmmakers, what can you say? They like to push the envelope and play ball deep in left field.

The soundtrack is an absolute banger, and doesn’t match up with the onscreen content at all. This adds a well-earned sense of tension throughout, and helps keep the discomfort factor at an 11 at all times.

Content warnings: They gut a turtle on-screen. Great bodily harm occurs to pretty much everyone on screen at some point. Beware. As I said, not for the faint of heart, and definitely not for children.

Horror/Thriller

“Possessor”

By Brett_G on October 11, 2020

5.1

The trailer had me excited… Got me to the drive-in… Only for the film to completely let me down.

Jump scares, woven into a story that leaves you more confused than anything else. Save yourself the hour and a half of your life.

Horror/Thriller

“My Bloody Valentine”

By Brett_G on October 11, 2020October 11, 2020

6.8

We’ve all had our rough Valentine’s Days. Stood up for a date, breakup, drinking alone. Most of us don’t take up a pickaxe and go on a murderous rampage in our hometown, though.

An occasionally laughable plot. Brutal kills. Much more effective than the power drill in the “Slumber Party Massacre.” Hearts in heart-shaped boxes. Terrified elders of the town trying to warn the teens of the impending danger. Somewhat like if the “Footloose” town’s no-dancing rule was enforced my an evil force with a deadly weapon.

Your typical, middle of the road silly slasher flick.

Comedy Throwback

“Fired Up!”

By Brett_G on October 10, 2020

9.1

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

Not loving this movie is prohibidado!

In the vein of “American Pie,” “Bring It On,” and “Van Wilder,” our two heroes Nick and Shaun are on a… conquest of sorts, and have the genius idea to skip football camp for cheer camp. Once there, they realize the world of competitive cheer is much more cutthroat than they initially thought. Shaun poops where he eats, and falls for the incomparable Carly. Nick must then help him defeat the knob rocket Doctor Dick to win her heart once and for all. Definitely not the love story you expect to be in this movie looking at it on the surface.

By far one of the strangest films on my all-time favorites list, but a true classic. Super quotable, and endless laughs. Warm up your spirit fingers, and ready your squad for the forbidden Fountain of Troy.

“10 and a half pop-o… 11 in Crocs.”

Comedy Throwback

“Hot Tub Time Machine 2”

By Brett_G on October 10, 2020

8.1

Proof that John Cusak is the key to the perfect movie.

This film lacks the magic of the first, but still manages to be hilarious throughout. They embrace the “over the top” formula for bringing back a part 2, and do it in style. “Terminator” car, “Back to the Future” alternate timeline mumbo jumbo… they pull out all the stops. It’s hard to capture lightning in a bottle twice, what can you say?