Category: Romance

“Empire of Light”

6.7

It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen a movie this calculated to win Oscar’s. There’s typically one every year that crosses the line into being ham-handed with its intent.

While there may not be much in the way of story here, the cinematography is absolutely gorgeous, along with perfectly cast set pieces. Past that, it’s a movie about loving movies, race relations, feminism, and mental illness… checking off all the boxes on a “let’s win some awards” bingo card more so than treating any of the subjects with much care, unfortunately.

“Maybe I Do”

6.7

What started as a case of “holy shit this is a toxic relationship. Don’t fall for this ultimatum, buddy.” Evolved into an awkwardly funny rom-com, and somehow landed the plan as a play projected on the silver screen of sorts.

Great performances by all involved, even if the characters didn’t quite fit in certain scenes. But that may have been intentional to drive narrative tension and discomfort for the sake of illustrating the uncomfortable nature of the topics at hand.

At the end of the day – relationships take work. And it’s kind of an awkward situation when your partner is willing to put in the work with someone else and not their partner. Even worse when you meet “the other person.” Even worse when you challenge them to a fist fight. There’s definitely some charming moments sprinkled amongst the awkwardness. Not my favorite, but not as bad as the first 20 minutes led me to believe I was in for.

“Hitch”

7.7

Kevin James must always Kevin James. Like Will Ferrell being shirtless, Kevin James must dance like a buffoon. And Will Smith must riff some lines. I don’t make the rules.

All that said, Eva Mendez and Amber Valletta? These guys seriously out-kick their coverage here.

Some extremely valuable lessons here about human connection and the value of balancing being honest and bettering oneself in the name finding true love. And jet skis. Beware of jet skis. I’ve been there. It’s a hard date to master, especially when you fall off and have to be rescued. Just saying…

A rom-com staple with an absolutely fire soundtrack!

“The Ugly Truth”

7.5

The classic “straight laced character learns from the goofball character and they end up proving the opposites attract theory” rom-com. A tale as old as time. A film so old it’s before Gerard Butler decided to drop the American accent. Also, a strong entry into the Katherine Heigl renaissance.

These two play these parts perfectly, and as I’ve said here before, mail the most important part of the rom-com formula: the heart. Without anchoring itself to true human romantic connection, the comedy falls flat. The laughs are only as strong as the “awe” factor at the other end of the spectrum, and this film has both for days. There’s also a lesson in there about opposites attracting, game theory, and the player just being a broken nice guy protecting his heart… but I digress.

“Babylon”

7.1

In one word: Chaotic… or long.

Throughout, this film is gorgeous. For that, I will not fault it. The first hour is superb. After that, it feels every second of the 3+ hour runtime and gets WEIRD. If you have a weak stomach, or a back injury that prevents you from sitting for long periods of time, this is not the move. I’m amazed they skated by with the R rating.

Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie are exquisite. The entire supporting cast is full of rockstars and amazing cameos. The music and cinematography are to die for. It’s just the strange structure and poor pacing that kill it in the end.

Oscar bait gone too far… much like the scene of an elephant defecating on a man. I shit you not. (Rimshot)