Category: Romance

“Valley Girl” (2020)

4.5

Like, gag me with a spoon, that was rough.

Jessica Rothe and the soundtrack earned all 4.5 of those stars. Had to make up for a lot of Logan Paul. Although, his character is supposed to be a tool, so… good casting?

For some odd reason, they took a decent 80’s movie, forgot to write half of a script, and filled the gaps with musical numbers. I mean, the soundtrack was pretty bitchin’, but couldn’t fully pull this one out of a narrative tailspin. And subjected so many promising young actors and actresses to this ball and chain of a film.

It was colorful and full of everything 80’s, but a pretty hollow shell of an actual film.

“Valley Girl (1983)”

6.7

Like, a totally rad movie. One of Nicholas Cage’s first (and best) roles of his career. Just enough lunacy to fit the character who’s a bit of an outsider, who gets the girl in the end. Amazing 80’s soundtrack. Hanging out at the mall. Neon color galore. Very 80’s. Somewhat of a John Hughes type love story, checking all of the character and storyline boxes as it moves along.

“Under the Tuscan Sun”

7.9

Oh… she rebuilds the house while also rebuilding herself! I get it now.

One of those pleasant surprises you find surfing through a pile of movies that happens to enter your life at just the right moment, and hit your emotions in just the right spot.

A heartfelt tale of a writer rebuilding her life in the beautiful landscape of Tuscany. Making friends and building a life all while learning who she is as a person and what is really important to her in the process. Very well done sleeper hit. Diane lane really knocks it out of the park with this one.

“Tiger King”

7.2

Good lord… that got weird. Just when you think it can’t get any worse or lower the bar any further, it happens. Cat people, man… the lunacy of the exotic animal trade/polygamy world is on full display for all parts of this documentary.

Lessons learned :

1. Don’t hire a hit man to hire a hit man to kill your business nemesis.

2. Much like Ron Burgundy reads anything on the teleprompter, a tiger will eat anything covered in sardine oil.

3. A jet ski slow-mo entrance set to “eye of the tiger” can make even the biggest doofus look badass.