Cinematic Sommelier
6.6
So… this one’s kind of dumb. I want to say “points for originality,” but it’s ripping off “Happy Death Day,” and 400 Christmas movies. It at least keeps the runtime tight, the kills bloody, and the hero’s relationship with her sidekick genuine and fulfilling. If you don’t expect too much, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I’m glad smaller films like this are getting a shot at the multiplex while the studios grapple with the fallout from the writers and actors strikes.
8.3
I’ll be damned, this was the best slasher I’ve seen since “Terrifier 2!”
The story may have been a little cheesy, but everyone bought into the bit and plays their parts to perfection. The killer has the perfect mix of flair, originality, and humor. There’s a twist ending. The kills are magnificent. I really have no notes. I had high expectations with Eli Roth at the helm, but even I couldn’t have expected this. I laughed until I cried, I almost spilled my popcorn jumping with fright. Wow. Just a seal of approval and suggestion you enjoy this one if you dare (and have the stomach for some good ol’ fashioned gore)!
5.1
Let me save you three hours of your life you can never get back. It’s… it’s bad.
For that runtime, it felt rushed, confusing, and in the end, lackluster. The battle scenes had hints of greatness, but were plagued with CGI that makes Marvel look masterful. And sex scenes that make “The Room” look romantic.
With the subtlety of a sledgehammer, let Ridley Scott drag you through a script of Napoleon’s life that feels like someone read the Amazon synopsis of a memoir, drag 6 Red Bulls, did a line of cocaine, and wrote in crayon before lighting the script on fire and just telling Joaquin Phoenix to “do Joker stuff” while dressed in a French military outfit.
Did that last paragraph not make sense? Well, you now know the feeling of leaving the theater after this one, but I saved you approximately 2 hours and 57 minutes of your life. You’re welcome.
P.S. The British had BOATS! So not fair!
P.P.S. The first word in the below trailer is “Long.” That sums it up pretty well. Freudian slip by the marketing department at Apple Studios.
7.1
I actually enjoyed this one! For all of the hate it got, this is one of the few in Phase 4 (this and “Guardians 3”) that didn’t earn the disdain. It was a return to form for Marvel, even if that made it feel a bit tired and played.
They finally solve for Captain Marvel’s Superman Syndrome, and she comes across quite likeable in this go-round. As do Carol and Kamala. The three amigas team up in a tight, fun hour and a half action film.
Story-wise, you can tell they jump cut some of the story development for the sake of a reasonable runtime, and sometimes it seemed a bit jarring as a viewer, but the CGI looked good for the first time in ages and I felt myself genuinely laughing at some of the gags. I left pleasantly surprised, but still committed to Marvel taking a siesta from the big screen for a while to let it breath a bit.
7.8
Sophia Coppola really knocks it out of the park with this one. Definitely the best Elvis biopic. What it did best was wading into the complication of a toxic relationship. Too often, these stories either glorify or vilify completely, and that’s inauthentic and unrealistic. This film respects its audience enough to show the bad AND the good that keeps them both fighting to overcome the bad. There’s always a reason they stay for that long. Always a time they’re striving to return to.
The colors were a welcome change. A refined beauty that is also often missing in modern Hollywood. Filmed with an intimate cinematography that draws the viewer in more and more with each frame, as we invest in a perfectly cast storyline. Really well done!
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 