Author: Brett_G

Action Blockbuster HBO

“Mortal Kombat”

By Brett_G on

7.8

Exceeded expectations! Definitely the strongest video game adaptation in quite some time.

Thankfully, the fighting is everything you imagine and more. It’s just the right amount of blood and cheesiness. A well-told story of tradition, facing adversity, and working together against a common enemy. Where they could have just made a cheap adaptation that just hits all of the high notes, this film really took the time to tell a story while also delivering on the action and adventure you would expect, all while keeping the runtime reasonable. Similar to “Godzilla vs. Kong,” it gives you exactly what you’re looking for, executed at the highest level of the craft.

No comments
Comedy Throwback

“The Toy”

By Brett_G on

7.2

What starts out as highly problematic actually sticks the landing as a hilarious, heartfelt tale of friendship and personal growth. Jackie Gleason and Richard Pryor at the height of their powers. Pryor and Scott Schwartz have great chemistry together on screen as they melt the cold heart of Master Bates’s “throw money at the problem” father. This really shouldn’t work as well as it does, but it knocks it out of the park and is one of the great hidden gems of the ’80s on this page. “I’m going to hell for laughing at this” humor at its finest.

One comment
Horror/Thriller

“In The Earth”

By Brett_G on

6.1

Bring your sunglasses and Excedrin.

That's Crazy, Man. Have You Ever Done DMT? | Know Your Meme
^This is basically my review. I feel like this is what it’s like. Broadened horizons and all. It’s all connected, man. The plants talk to each other, man. It’s like the force, man. We’re all one interconnected interplanetary being, man.
The Time Knife : LSD
The soundtrack reminded me of “It Follows.” The cinematography reminded me of “Planet Earth.” The story reminded me of “Midsommer.” It’s a wild ride. Also, definitely heed the photosensitivity warning in the beginning. It gets pretty intense a couple times.
No comments
Rom-Com Throwback

“Something Borrowed”

By Brett_G on

4.5

As a romantic comedy connoisseur, I really hate to do this, but here we go…

This movie is asinine. (I contemplated a f**k filled review, but then Facebook doesn’t like me)

Why did Dex ever get with Darcy in the first place? Why did Rachel stay friends with Darcy after she hijacked a first date and stole Dax? Why did Dax never ask questions? Why is anyone friends with Darcy? How are Rachel and Dax successful as lawyers? They fold like cheap lawn chairs under the slightest pressure. How in the hell does Rachel actually take Dax back after everything? How was THAT a happily ever after? This movie just pissed me off for the entire runtime. But I trudged through it, so you might not have to.

John Krasinski is the only redeeming character here. And the movie takes great pleasure in narratively kicking him in the testicles at every turn. These 2 hours were more painful than watching him wait years for Pam.

No comments
Comedy Throwback

“Mannequin”

By Brett_G on

9.5

One of the strangest movies ever made. One of my favorite movies ever made.

Unabashedly itself.

A movie about an ancient Egyptian princess whose consciousness is transported to 1987 into a mannequin, which only comes to life for the gentleman who assembled her. They find each other, together find trouble, and in the end, find true love. All set to a soundtrack that oozes 80’s nostalgia. What more can you ask for?

Kim Cattrall… enough said. For a love story between a man and a dummy, the chemistry is off the charts. They have a perfectly playful rapport. Everyone is just the right amount of “in on the joke.” It’s lightning in a bottle, the likes of which only come around once or twice in a generation. “Hot Tub Time Machine” of the late ’80s. Probably a healthy dose of cocaine, too.

No comments