Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare
Cinematic Sommelier
7.4
I may have over-hyped this one in my head a bit. It even got me to subscribe to Netflix for a month to watch it. (It’s one of the few streaming services I don’t have unless they suck me in with a release like this that I would have had to travel to CHICAGO to see)
It’s absolutely gorgeous, and Michael Fassbender is perfect in this role. But the the film itself was… surprisingly okay for me. It was solid, but not life-changing as some (including myself) had been expecting.
6.7
Unexpectedly middle of the road. There was way too much firepower in this cast for this to be this blah…
Couple having trouble getting pregnant meets couple who takes “wrap it” a little too literally and learns the hard way that cling wrap doesn’t work the same, despite the logic that might dictate that plastic is plastic. Then everyone’s life gets ruined in a unique way and you end the movie sad for all involved in a way you never really expect… mostly because the movie never gives you any inkling it’s coming.
6.1
So, while Congress and everyone else under the Sun is pounding a table somewhere about Tik Tok stealing our data, take a ride down memory lane and be reminded of the other foreign website that drilled into our data and trafficked more than video content. A shocking amount of them are foreign companies. Pornhub in particular? Canadian. It’s structure is strikingly similar to a Chinese conglomerate the likes of Tencent and Alibaba. Or Baidu, which delivers many visitors here to my site. (It’s a search engine, get your heads out of the gutter. My reviews aren’t THAT stimulating.)
It’s an okay documentary. They try to dress up a boring story with the shock value of porn… which wears off well before the 4 hour mark when we have to start becoming concerned.
7.2
I swear Netflix sometimes makes these movies in a way that they set the mood for the couple watching them, but then don’t pay attention to the second half of the movie because they figure you’re not watching anyways… (bow chicka wow wow).
Anywho… this one’s a safe bet, by the numbers rom-com. You can’t miss with Kutcher, Witherspoon, and the red menace who has a death grip on this genre. Prepare yourself for listening to The Cars Greatest Hits for 2 hours.
9.1
For a group of community college kids sitting around a table a majority of the runtime, this show is nothing short of brilliant. The variety of how its funny, the chemistry between the cast, and the overall high quality of the show is off the charts. Endless wit from beginning to end in a showing generational talents – Lightning in a bottle. It even made me like Joel McHale, and I thought that was impossible.
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 