“Maximum Overdrive”

7.2

“If you want something done right, you oughta do it yourself.”

What he doesn’t mention is the Scarface-sized mountain of cocaine that led to this decision. God love him, Stephen does his best. Creates an… interesting film. Get ready to laugh, get kind of weirded out, and then laugh some more. Basically a less dreadful version of Terminator. The machines may come to life, but they only kill you if you’re an imbecile. Crank up the AC/DC, and enjoy the ride.

“The Thing”

7.1

Well, the title isn’t lying. There is a thing, and it does some things. Great special effects. Great acting by all involved. The very sense of paranoia we’re all trying to escape nowadays, for two hours put to film. Insanity. Also, the most moist film this side of “Society.” When in doubt, kill it with fire!

“The Fog”

6.7

When it’s a foggy morning and I say to myself “this is the beginning of a horror movie, for sure,” this is the movie I’ve been unknowingly referencing.

A cross between the Gorton’s fisherman and Boris Karloff’s mummy, there’s something in the fog. It’s a wonder people still travel to new England seaside towns after this and JAWS. The fog took on a very similar sense of menace as the infamous shark, terrorizing the residents.

The character development was odd but worked well enough considering the genre. It appears that picking up hitchhikers led to long-term romantic relationships back in the day.

Moral of the story: beware of local politics. Whether it’s a killer clown, killer shark, or a colonial sea captain, your ancestors screwed over… No good can come of it.

“Halloween 3: Season of the Witch”

6.1

With the benefit of hindsight, this makes sense and is an exciting entry in the saga. At the time, I’m sure I would have been right there with my pitchfork and torch, ready to burn the theater down saying, “what the hell what was that?”

This is a slasher film. Don’t overthink it. No need for Druids and Stonehenge and curses. Just Michael Myers, his knife, and some unsuspecting teenagers.

It’s one of those historical films you have to watch once, but will probably never revisit.