Cinematic Sommelier
6.8
Everyone and everything here is indecisive, which is sadly the hallmark of a Disney creature. A great premise with a great deal of promise that sadly falls flat in the end. In trying to be everything, in the end it becomes mostly nothing. In a word, generic. Or safe. And that’s not what we come to the movies for. In the wise words of Nicole Kidman, “we come to this place for magic.” The magic has been successfully milked from this franchise by the mouse.
8.1
For a three-hour runtime, this adrenaline soaked fever dream flies by. It may be much of the same, cranked up another notch to top the last film, but it’s executed to perfection. Cruise may in fact perish in pursuit of his next blockbuster, but there’s no one better in the business of popcorn selling, theater packing summer blockbusters that anyone can enjoy. The panache of Christopher Nolan without the headache from overworking your frontal cortex to keep a grip on the unfolding narrative. Like “Oppenheimer,” this was born for IMAX.
Important Note – I greatly appreciated the structure of this film, especially as a Part 1 of 2. It completed the arc, while also setting up the finale in the next chapter. It didn’t leave me feeling let down and immediately needing the part 2 in order to not feel cheated like the “Hobbit” franchise or “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1.”
5.7
Megan Fox is the best actor involved here… I never thought I’d say that. Especially regarding an ensemble cast. There’s a first time for everything. And it’s not just because of the translucent tank top and attractive anger throughout. She carries this thing for a lot of the run time.
Jason Statham does Jason Statham things. Randy Couture explains at least 4 separate times what cauliflower ear is… why? No clue. But he does. And 50 Cent’s here. Again… why? Your guess is as good as mine.
They should have stopped at 3, but what’s a good thing if you don’t indulge in too much of it to confirm the limit? This one’s dialogue makes the first 3 look Oscar worthy. It’s rough. There are far better action flicks to bide your time with.
6.9
This would have made a killer double feature alongside “Bottoms.” The characters here are insane, but by god are they fun. Sadly, no one comes out of the lake or woods with a large bladed weapon to start taking people out. The villain here is private equity and preppy kids. The underdog vibes here are strong. The overall vibes are strong. It’s a musically inclined twist on “Wet Hot American Summer.” Hits every note you want it to, and given the reaction of the crowd I enjoyed this one alongside, it really nails the aesthetic of real life theater camp.
Also, no one plays a loveable dumb guy like Jimmy Tatro. Between this and “The Machine,” he’s building his career on this pigeon hole.
7.3
Very similar to “Shiva Baby.” Rachel Sennott is the master of the awkward comedy. “Fight Club” meets “Not Another Teen Movie.” There’s a lot of social commentary going on here, and I loved the caricatures here. Marshawn Lynch definitely had a second career in education if the whole football thing didn’t work out. Between this and his cameos in “The League,” can we please get more of him and less of Vin Diesel?
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 