Author: Brett_G

Action Blockbuster

“The Northman”

By Brett_G on

7.8

When strange things happen in your camp, blame the Christians. Because “their god is a corpse nailed to a tree,” so they can’t be trusted. Odin is the only deity to be trusted in these parts.

This was a wild two-and-a-half-hour ride. Somewhere between “Gladiator” and “The Witch,” this film combines gorgeous landscape shots with action portrayed in such complete darkness you’ll swear that you are watching “The Batman.”

Luckily, after our hero repeatedly gets his ass kicked, Ana Taylor-Joy is there with her magical healing powers to nurse him back to health. After the throat-singing prophet in the cave took some hallucinogens and foretold a great journey for him in the form of a riddle.

If you’re looking for a tale of revenge, I’d probably go for “John Wick,” seeing as it’s a tad shorter and more exciting. However, if you’re looking for a shining example of playing the long con this side of “Gladiator,” look no further. It doubles as motivation to do 300 sit-ups when you get home. This guy’s 8-pack is impressive. I’d suggest doing the sit-ups to the soundtrack. It’s non-stop hype music.

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Horror/Thriller

“X”

By Brett_G on

8.4

Ah… A return to the classic slasher. From A24, of all studios!

This one thankfully lived up to the hype, and then some. It’s just the right amount of story to hold it all together and just enough sex to justify the killing. A glorious return to the tried and true formula of the classic “Friday the 13th” franchise, among many others. Much better than the recent “Texas Chainsaw” installment. Just because they’re old doesn’t mean they can’t inflict some severe damage. The couple who owns the farm me flashbacks to “The Visit” from years ago.

All in all, the casting was pretty perfect. Speaking of perfect, I will never see “Pitch Perfect” the same after this one. Brittany Snow kills it as the co-lead, alongside wannabe Matthey McConaughey Martin Henderson.

The kills are beautifully directed and, as a result, incredibly impactful and effective. I especially loved a particular scene that turns progressively red as the blood is spilled. The lighting and resulting effect were unexpectedly brilliant.

I highly recommend this one, but caution those with a weak stomach.

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Comedy Drama

“The King of Staten Island”

By Brett_G on

6.9

I’m torn on this one.

I would have loved this one if it had not been for the excessive runtime. It just dragged on about a half-hour too long. For most of it, I felt like I got a look into the unlikely charm of Pete Davidson. I found him likable until I got too much of him and could then feel my IQ dropping precipitously by the minute. Everything just felt overplayed by the time the credits rolled. It crosses the line from entertainment to therapy sessions after a while.

All of that said, the wrestling match with Bill Burr was amazing. We might get to see a replay of it, but with Kayne here in the next week or so.

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Classic Drama Suspense/Thriller

“Don’t Bother to Knock”

By Brett_G on

7.2

Be careful who you flirt with at the hotel bar… Or from across the courtyard. Or who you hire as your babysitter.

This was far closer to “Psycho” than I expected. Marilyn Monroe had quite the acting chops to pull off this premise. At first, I thought I was watching a romance novel projected onto the silver screen but ended up engulfed in an enigma. Despite the short run time, there is an unexpected depth to this classic, and it alone justified my purchase of a 10-film Marilyn Monroe film bundle.

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