Cinematic Sommelier
6.5
This may be the most by the numbers “last summer before moving away to collegeā movie I’ve ever seen.
If you enjoy 80’s hair bands and want a new film to watch from that genre, here it is. Not much else to elaborate on. It was exactly what I expected. No more, no less.
7.2
This is one of the strangest films of the year. By a long shot. Who pitched this?
With the subtlety of a punch to the face, this moving tells the tale of a city coming together to worship their adopted messiah, Rocky Balboa. In a better mob movie than “The Many Saints of Newark,” we follow a wannabe restaurant (or catering business) owner rising against his childhood nemesis while his sons conquer their own adversaries, all connecting with the eye of the tiger fighting spirit of the Italian Stallion.
Yo Adrian. This movie is absolutely ridiculous, but it’s got heart. It’s got a lot of fight left in it. It’ll leave you in disbelief of your own inspiration as the credits roll. Looking for something off the wall? There’s nothing more random than round-the-clock screenings of Rocky 3 bringing a community together. Gotta love the power of cinema.
Spoiler alert: My man gets the girl.
7.3
The prodigal son is cast out into the desert. Let me guess, for 40 days?
Yes, the Jesus metaphor is that on the nose for all 3 hours of the runtime.
I went into this film expecting spectacle, and spectacle I got. All three stories of the IMAX screen were bathed in the cinematic beauty of this film. The score crafted by the masterful Hans Zimmer thundering through my chest… all for me to leave the theater underwhelmed and confused. Similar to the “Hobbit” series, “Dune” attempted to be too careful not to overwhelm the audience with lore and instead errors on the side of feeling ultimately empty. The disbelief and shock on my face when I was greeted with “Part 1” immediately after the title flashed across the screen must have been a sight to see.
This cake is all frosting. Somewhere between “Star Wars” and “Mad Max,” the world they build is breathtaking. Then there’s nothing really behind the curtain. I felt like they were trying to avoid the cramped confusion of the cult-classic original film adaptation and overcorrected.
If you don’t care about the story, have at it. Just don’t disrespect it by watching on a TV or, God forbid, a mobile device. Highly recommend the most massive screen possible for the spectacle factor. Here’s to, I guess, hoping there’s enough box office success for them to fill in the gaps in part 2.
6.4
I haven’t wanted protagonists to die this bad in a long time. I was rooting for Rebecca the whole time. The story was pretty predictable and over the top, but wonderfully done. The film is incredibly aware of itself, and leans into it in all the right ways.
Pro tip: Don’t stay in an AirBnB when the host seems a little “off,” there are cameras covering the place like a casino gaming floor, and the basement is locked with little to no explanation. Just because they cook you breakfast doesn’t mean bad things aren’t going to happen.
5.1
“A new horror classic” for all of the wrong reasons.
This was somewhere between painful to watch and laughable. It misses the mark that the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” nailed. It succeeds in making the viewer uncomfortable, but not much else. The alligator is an interesting creature choice, and could have been great on the heels of JAWS’s success, but this film didn’t quite have the budget, directorial direction, or intent as that legendary series. If it resembles any of them, it’s the ridiculousness of “JAWS: The Revenge.” Grindhouse filmmaking at its finest!
Brett Garten, Movie Extraordinare 